“Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching.”
~ Satchel Paige

There are no guarantees in life, but I think that is what makes it so interesting! There is so much life has to offer. There is an abundance of hope, challenges, opportunities, uncertainties, experiences, and more. And if there is one thing I have learned so far, it is that your perception is a powerful thing.

“Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”
~ William James

One person can have a set of events happen to them and feel overwhelmed, fearful, stressed, and full of anxiety. But those same events can happen to another person who views them as a challenge, an opportunity to succeed, and becomes energized. How you choose to perceive things going on, in and around your life, makes a world of difference.

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”
~ John Lennon

There will always be setbacks and unexpected things that happen along the way. The perfectionist side of me used to get so frustrated when I felt that things did not go as I had planned. Only when I realized and accepted the paradox that things could only be perfect if things were not perfect is when I began to enjoy the little things more, and to appreciate both the smooth sailings as well as the bumps along the way.

“The only certainty is that nothing is certain.”
~ Pliny the Elder

Many of the achievements in my life that I am most proud of were a result of me being pushed, not knowing if I would succeed, or whether I would like or dislike something. I have learned from both my successes and failures. If we want a warranty, we can buy one when we purchase an appliance. Life has no such assurances, but we cannot let that stop us from living life to the fullest!

I wish you the very best in your journey!

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The Thinker

Maybe you’re wondering if now is the time to change your job or career, to move to a new city, or whether you should buy a home. Whatever decision you want to make, I’ve found that the steps below have helped when deliberating over important decisions in my own life.

1. Calm Yourself

Simple, right? Not all of us are that great at relaxation, deep breathing, or meditation. That’s okay! If you put your mind to it, you’ll find something that will help calm yourself. Some love yoga, some prefer deep breathing, some like exercising, or listening to music. Experiment and do what’s right for you. You’re not going to be in a good frame of mind to think and evaluate your situation if you’re physically, emotionally, or even spiritually out of sorts.

2. Take Your Time to Think and Feel

Allow yourself the time to think, and just as importantly, to feel. Sometimes a strong thought or feeling will come to you, and you’ll know deep down what the right choice is. Other times, you may be torn over what to do. It all depends on the situation and the circumstances.

If you find that you need to do any kind of research in order to think over the matter, then do so. When you have the necessary information available for you to deliberate over, then allow yourself to think over the matter logically without letting your emotions play too much into the mix. For example, if I’m buying a home, I’ll think over facts such as my current salary, and how much the monthly cost of the new home will be. Once you have the facts lined up, then you can start to see how you feel about the matter. For example, is my gut reaction excitement or apprehension at the thought of owning a new home?

What you think and feel are both equally important. You may find that you very much want to buy a new house, but your brain is telling you that you simply cannot afford it. Likewise, sometimes the most logical thing in the world for you to do just may not feel right.

As Blaise Pascal said, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”

3. Write Down Your Thoughts and Feelings

Sometimes a person can have an overwhelming amount of “stuff” running through their head. Your mind can get cluttered, and that can lead to frustration. That’s why I highly recommend writing your thoughts and feelings down. All of the things running through your head may seem chaotic, but when you begin to write them down in black and white, your mind can start to relax in knowing that any fleeting thoughts have been captured and not forgotten. Writing things down can help you process your thoughts and emotions.

4. Talk It Over

You’ve most likely been inside your own head up to this point. Now’s the time to talk out loud with someone you trust on the subject. Having someone as a sounding board can help you organize your ideas. They may potentially bring up topics you hadn’t thought of before, or even provide a new way of thinking over something. Use your best judgment on how many people to talk with. Speaking with a handful of people is one thing, but if you find yourself talking to more and more people without any new insights, you may be procrastinating over taking the next step.

5. Make Your Decision

You won’t be able to move forward until you’ve finally made a choice. By now, you’ve taken the time to see what you think and feel about the matter in a calm frame of mind, you’ve given the matter serious thought, and deliberated over it with others. It is now time to make your decision. If you are someone who finds they have a tendency to second-guess and wonder if you made the right choice, hopefully the steps you’ve taken thus far up to your decision will help calm your mind.

Congratulations! You’re now ready to act on your decision!

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Do you have a life? I truly hope you answer “yes” to that question! According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “life” is “the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual”. I believe that everything we do, all of the people we meet, and all of the experiences we have along the way, constitutes our life. And whether we like it or not, our life continues while we are at work.

You’ve probably heard the famous advice from Harvey MacKay to “Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” While I do think that’s great advice, I also believe it’s a bit philosophical. I’ve known people who have been lucky enough to find and work at their dream job, but they loved it so much that they found themselves not spending as much time with their family as they would have liked. So while you could say they loved what they did so much that they didn’t consider it “work”, there was no doubt that they were missing a balance in their life.

There’s really no escaping it for the majority of us: we have to work for a living. Some are lucky enough to enjoy and find passion in their work, while others work only to fund their passions. Before the current United States recession officially began in December 2007, a CareerBuilder.com survey in 2007 found that 84% of workers were not in what they considered their dream job (for more information, refer to this article). Interestingly, only 12% of those workers listed salary as an important requirement for a dream job. And according to a more recent 2009 Clarus poll, 88% of American workers found themselves happy with their jobs (for more information, refer to this article).

I’m going to assume that with the current economic climate and a national unemployment rate of 9.6 percent in the United States as of August 2009, that higher percentage of happy workers are mainly happy to even have a job. Having said that, I’d like to ask a question that I hope will get us all to stop and think about where and how we spend our time and energy. It’s a question that many love to pass the time thinking over: if you won a million dollars today, what would you be doing tomorrow?

Ah, the possibilities! When you have the answer to that question, ask yourself this: why would you do those things tomorrow only if you had those million dollars? Why are you stopping yourself today from doing what you’d love to do tomorrow? Granted, there will be some dreams that simply require gobs of money, such as buying a mansion, a private jet, or your own sports franchise. But if some of your dreams were more along the lines of spending more time with your family, fishing more, playing more golf, or learning how to paint or play the piano, then I strongly urge you to reflect on why you’re not allowing yourself those smaller luxuries right now.

With some time and planning, possibly some sacrifices in other less important areas of your life, and maybe even a little money you decide to put aside each week, you can make some of those smaller dreams a reality. Wipe away any clutter and daily distractions, and ask yourself what you really think is important. Life can seem so hectic at times, it helps to periodically stop and consider whether you’re on the path you want to be on. I firmly believe that it can be all of the little things throughout our days that help us find a balance in our lives.

So is there really such a thing as a work-life balance? I think the answer is both “yes” and “no”. Do what you love and it won’t seem so much like work, but you still need balance in your life. I think striking a balance between your work and personal life is somewhat like the pursuit of happiness. You don’t snap your fingers and suddenly achieve happiness. It’s a way of life, a mindset, a continual pursuit. You won’t always find yourself having a perfect mix of work and personal time. Such is life! If you consider yourself happy, and those who are an important part of your life consider themselves happy as well, then I’d say you’re on the right path!

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Ever heard the phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”? Now, of course there are times when what you know is extremely important. But you get the idea. Who you know in life, and the relationships you make along the way, plays a vital role in our life. Regardless of your social or financial pedigree, we all rely on others. And despite where you think you may sit on that social or financial scale, there are things you can do to cultivate relationships, not only for the benefit of yourself, but also for those you interact with along the way!

About a year or two ago, I read a great book which brought this topic of relationship building to my attention. The book is called Never Eat Alone and is authored by Keith Ferrazzi (Ferrazzi, Keith. Never Eat Alone. New York: Random House, 2005). To list just some of Mr. Ferrazzi’s accomplishments, the World Economic Forum listed him as a “Global Leader for Tomorrow”, and he appeared as one of the forty top business leaders under forty in Crain’s magazine. Much of the insights I share in this post are discussed in his book, and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in finding out more information and strategies you can apply to build strong and lasting relationships across a network of friends, family, and associates.

Now, take a moment to really think over some of the things in your life where you have been given some good opportunities. Then consider what factors went into that opportunity presenting itself. For example, maybe your parents helped you attain a college scholarship through their employer. Perhaps a college professor put in a good word for you which helped you land an internship. Or maybe former work colleagues took it upon themselves to pass your name around to potential employers and put in a good word for you after you were laid off. Whether we realize it or not, we continually affect those around us!

You have access to a much larger web of people than you may think. Think of all the people in your immediate and extended family (parents, siblings, cousins, nephews, etc.) in addition to any friends or acquaintances. Then imagine all of the friends, family, and acquaintances each of those individuals has. And that’s a network of people you already have access to today!

When you think of networking with other people, try not to think about being that brownnosing individual you may envision in your head who is overeager to hand out business cards and internally thinking “Me, me, me”. Mr. Ferrazzi refers to this type of person in his book as “the networking jerk”. That is most definitely not what we are after here. We are not after trying to win a contest of who has the most friends or contacts on Facebook or Twitter. What we are after is building true connections with others in the context of generosity, rather than with a what-is-in-it-for-me perspective. As Mr. Ferrazzi states in his book:

“I learned that real networking was about finding ways to make other people more successful. It was about working hard to give more than you get” (Ferrazzi 9).

He goes on further to describe connecting as:

“A constant process of giving and receiving – of asking for and offering help. By putting people in contact with one another, by giving your time and expertise and sharing them freely, the pie gets bigger and bigger for everyone” (Ferrazzi 15). Furthermore, “relationships are more like muscles – the more you work them, the stronger they become” (Ferrazzi 19).

And as you continue to grow your network, you and those around you will benefit in both your personal life and your career.

“A relationship-driven career is good for companies you work for because everyone benefits from your own growth – it’s the value you bring that makes people want to connect with you. You feel satisfaction when both your peers and your organization share in your advancement” (Ferrazzi 12).

It all really boils down to this: we do not go it alone in this world! The people in our life influence us one way or another. That in no way discounts our own talents, hard work, and dedication! You can have all the doors in the world opened for you, but it is still your own sweat-equity, drive, and skills that make you succeed and capitalize on those opportunities. I very much encourage you to read Mr. Ferrazzi’s book and gather some tips and tricks on how you can continue to expand your network, and in the process, better your life and those you connect with!

So go ahead … reach out to those you know, and to someone new! A stranger today could be a friend tomorrow!

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The human body is fascinating, isn’t it? An 8 pound head (3 of those pounds come from our brain), opposable thumbs, 206 bones (with around half of them in just the hands and feet), and around 27 feet of intestines … just to name a few of the interesting things we’re equipped with. What is even more fascinating is how important a role our body plays in our communication with others. You may be surprised that there is a part of our body that can give us away and provide a window into what we are thinking or feeling. Can you guess which part of the body that is?

I found the answer to that question in a good book I read on body language, which I recommend to anyone interested in better understanding or interpreting nonverbal communication. The book is titled What Every BODY is Saying (Navarro, Joe. What Every BODY is Saying. New York: HarperCollins, 2008). Mr. Navarro is a retired FBI special agent who specialized in nonverbal communications. Here is what he had to say about the most truthful part of our body:

“When reading body language, most individuals start their observation at the top of a person (the face) and work their way down, despite the fact that the face is the one part of the body that most often is used to bluff and conceal true sentiments … When it comes to honesty, truthfulness decreases as we move from the feet to the head” (Navarro 55-56).

He goes on further to state that:

“Because they have been so directly critical to our survival throughout human evolution, our feet and legs are the most honest parts of the body. Our lower limbs provide the most accurate, uncensored information to the alert observer” (Navarro 83-84).

This makes me think of the animated movie “Happy Feet”, which won the 2006 Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. And just yesterday I had been spending some time with friends, and there had been a couple of kids running around the house. It made me smile to see both of them jumping up and down, bouncing on their feet. It was a great example of someone expressing their happiness in a nonverbal way.

It’s all really fascinating when you stop to think about it. How often have you given a fake smile to someone in order to be polite? Have you noticed how others can sometimes lean towards you in interest while you’re talking, or how some subtly lean away from you and cross their arms? Maybe on a date you’ve noticed a man fiddling with the knot of his tie or a woman playing with her necklace? We communicate so much with others around us without even saying a word! As Mr. Navarro states in his book:

“Nonverbal behaviors comprise approximately 60 to 65 percent of all interpersonal communication” (Navarro 4).

So I encourage all of us to pay closer attention to the nonverbal signals we observe from the people around us, and the nonverbal cues we send out to others. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much more successful you’ll be at interpreting what others around you are thinking or feeling!

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